self-discipline

so what is a good starting point, how to train & discipline yourself ? we concluded in the above issue, that "fasting" is a very strong & effective method, but must be used very cautiously nowadays. Reasons: it is generally frowned-unjustly- by many as a sign of "arrogance" "show-off" , fasting became synonymous with "narrow-minded" "too-frum" it gained a very bad reputation. So instead of gaining quietly for yourself--no body's business, some extra muscles to fight the Yetser HaRa, you are guaranteed to busy yourself convincing others & defending yourself. Simply put you are wasting your energy.

I would suggest a much more effective and far reaching exercise--you get more for your buck!.It is cheap --not too easy-- yet very effective, and satisfying. The exercise is called "silence".
Just how often do we plopple & schmooze non-stop for 20 30 40 50 minutes, with no goal at all, just pushing time --or "relaxing".The truth is, usually after we finished this ploppling feat, we feel so empty & wasted, it is like we just sold ourselves so cheaply. I think it is a worse feeling than overeating. moreover, inevitably we gave out wrong info about ourselves or others, and פי אויל מחיתה לו the mouth of a fool is his grave!

Always be on guard when you must speak to a friend or you really need desperately some "relaxation" (did you try some exercise........ the most effective and satisfying relaxation!)
, don't overdo it! make up your mind how much time you want to waste, and feel that you are in control.

Obviously, all of this does not apply when talking is a mitsvah. Your wife, father, mother,a brokenhearted individual, then you are not the pleasure-seeker, you are rather doing a chesed for others.

When you are very much in the mood of using your mouth muscles, why not say Torah, say Mishnah Read Mikra and make sure to say every word out loud. say the words slowly and try to grasp the meaning as much as possible but don't be too worried, you will repeat it next month again and in 3 month's again ---don't worry----.In summary let the idle talk for others, you are too important .( sounds very selfish , but remember to accomplish anything you must be selfish, think what is good for me.)